Let's face it. It's easier for women to find sexual partners than men. True, there are a lot of hot and ready women out here, but it's very hard to find them, especially when you want them. Males have to jump through hoops to get laid, whereas women don't. Sometimes women won't even take the hoops out. It's an unfair fact of life, but don't feel bad, guys. It's like that in nature, too. In fact, you're better off than your male animal counterparts. If a woman turns you down, you have an alternative.

Good old masturbation.

This isn't to say that animals don't masturbate. Many of them have the ability to lick their own genitalia, something human males (and females) have envied since the beginning of time. But what they don't have are toys.

Millions of years of evolution have given human beings the ability to create a plethora of naughty little items made to milk the male funnybone when the woman isn't willing and the hand just isn't enough. We are going to explore a couple of these marvelous inventions and alternatives.

Realistic Vaginas

Now, we can't say men have "built the better mousetrap" when it comes to sex toys, but they've given it a rousing good try. Artificial, but realistic vaginas and anuses abound on the sex market, complete with soft pliant "skin", tight rippling orifices and even clutching vibrators installed. These replicas of the female anatomy can even have hips, buttocks and thighs, if not much else. But a man with a good imagination shouldn't find this a problem as long as he's burying his bone and being nicely stimulated.

Masturbators

Masturbators can look like anything as long as they have a nice tight hole to stick a penis in. There are Palm Pals that fit in the palm of the hand and can be shaped like vaginas, mouths or anuses. There are larger versions that provide more bang for the buck, tight, stretchy and in bright color combinations. Some even contain beads and ribs for more sensation. These kinds of sex toys are often portable as well, sometimes disguised as an unassuming flashlight, or an unopened can of beer. It's rather ingenious, as long as no one needs to see in the dark or gets thirsty. But they are perfect if a man needs to wank on the go.

The Love Doll

Formerly known as "The Joy Doll." Evidently, joy has transcended into love over the years. But this very special substitution for womankind has gone full blown. A "love" doll is basically an inflatable form of a woman that has an accessible mouth, vagina, anus and breasts which can be sexually engaged. Now, how much like a real woman this doll looks and feels like depends largely on how much money a man is willing to spend. Some look so much like balloons they should have their feet weighted down and be punched around so they rock back and forth. Others have 3D mannequin faces and kissable lips. You can be sure that the doll rarely looks like the living woman pictured in the advertisement, but they can come with poseable limbs, vibrating orifices, wrap-around arms and legs, and cowboy hats. For a man whose focus is on getting himself off, that's more than enough.

So, because of millions of years of evolution and increased brain capacity, men have created options other than jumping through hoops to gain sexual relief and satisfaction. Most don't mind the hoops, to be honest, but it's nice to know there are alternatives.