Constintina T. : Free Phone Sex Tips From A Professional Dirty Talker And A Talenter Writer
Words are any writer’s best friend, but it’s the rare writer who can support herself solely with her words.
Constintina T. is the exception—a wondrously talented writer blessed with the gift of gab. She’s 30 years old and lives in NYC. When she’s not working on her screenplay or penning articles on pop cultural phenomenon, she supports herself by whispering dirty words into the ears of paying callers. Constintina’s customers have no idea that the breathy-voiced fantasy girl on the phone is coolly taking their measure, and that some of her most hilarious, thought-provoking writing stems from her keen insight into her callers’ masturbation-fueled phone frenzies.
I was introduced to Constintina through a mutual friend, and once I started reading her blog, I couldn’t stop laughing. I’d pay this smarty-pants supervixen by the minute just to read the Queens phone directory to me! Read on, and score some free phone sex tips from the kind of talent that won’t stay anonymous for long.
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Can you give some good, basic advice to those of us who want to talk dirty or have phone sex with our partners, but have no idea what to say?
It’s funny because despite being a professional dirty talker, I still feel shy around verbal raunch in my personal life, though I like it.
My best advice is: start small and encourage one another. You don’t have to go from being mute in the sack to suddenly reeling off pornographic monologues. Verbalize what you want your partner to do to you and how it makes you feel, or what you want to do to them, in whatever language feels the most comfortable. Try saying “I want to suck your cock/eat your pussy” before you do it—or if that feels uncomfortable, you can always go with “I want to go down on you”. Try saying “I love the way you taste/feel/etc.”
When your partner talks dirty to you, signal your receptiveness by responding in kind, or at least moaning appreciatively, giving them the go-ahead to continue. It can be scary to verbalize these things! It’s easy to feel totally ridiculous. So make sure your partner knows that you’re turned on.
If you’re trying to have phone sex it can be even more difficult! Take baby steps: I wish you were here, if you were here I’d kiss you, I’d want to do more than kiss you. It might be more than enough to just to ask each other where exactly you are, what you’re wearing, if you’re touching yourself yet, if you’re using a toy, etc. Keep it basic unless you’re feeling inspired to go off on a wild fantasy ride—and if you are, by all means go for it.
Its important to remember that sexual language is very loaded and people may have strong reactions to certain terms. Let your partner know how you feel about certain words before you’re trying to talk dirty to one another, especially if there are certain common terms that will totally ruin the mood for you.
Do you have any tricks to get your callers talking?
Try to get them in the mode by starting small. Ask “Do you like it when I do this? Do you want me to keep doing this?,” etc.
Ask dirty questions that require dirty answers (“Do you want me to go down on you or fuck you?”). Don’t push too hard, and be very encouraging of their efforts.
It can be very frustrating when I have a dude who won’t talk on the phone. As I’ve often said: phone sex, not phone psychic!
Usually I take it as an opportunity to take control of the call and rack up minutes talking about myself, slowly amping up the sex, asking questions that only require yes or no answers, saying “It’s okay if you don’t want to or can’t answer,” when I ask other questions.
I stick to the most basic, vanilla kind of call unless I get an indication, however subtle, that I can introduce some kink. I’ll mention in passing that I like three-ways, toys, etc. and see if there’s any noticeable reaction—if so, I’ll ask if he likes/has done that, then slowly build slowly from there. For instance, if he’s interested in three-ways, I’ll ask he’d prefer two guys or two girls. If he says two guys he may be into gangbang type fantasies, or want to fantasize about being with a guy himself, or both. Or he could be straight as an arrow (or not ready to explore bi tendencies) and hang up in a flurry of GAYPANIC if I make any such suggestion. So you need to tread extra lightly if you’re going to keep guys like this engaged and on the phone.
Tell me what initially drew you to phone sex work.
Well, I was in my early 20s, out of work, and not getting anything I applied for.
I’d recently quit an awful telephone market research survey job, where at one point I’d had to give a survey to this guy who was sexually harassing me and giving unusable answers to all the questions—and yet, I wasn’t supposed to hang up on him. During that call I thought: what the hell am I doing getting paid shit to call people who don’t want to talk to me, who are verbally abusive? If I was gonna have to listen to annoying guys saying pornographic stuff to me, I’d rather get paid more and have people call me.
Now that you’ve been doing this for so many years, what keep you in the business?
I’m between calls right now and I’m in my pajamas. No commute. Flexible schedule. I can multitask like a motherfucker—I get a lot of stuff done around the house while working.
Plus, at this point, I know the ropes well enough to protect myself emotionally, and sometimes I actually enjoy it. I have a side of me that loves to perform, and phone sex provides an outlet for that.
What’s the most frustrating thing about your work?
A) The stigma attached that forces you to lie about your employment in various circumstances and deal with people being assholes when you don’t.
B) The lack of benefits and labor standards that come with doing work that—though legal—is stigmatized and considered so marginal.
C) Plain old asshole callers who just want to pay to abuse someone.
What makes it all worthwhile?
As cheesy as it sounds, helping people. And the money.
Mostly the money.
What are some of the most common fantasies? What phone fantasy can you do in your sleep, you’ve done it so many times before?
Too many to list.
I can sleepwalk through surprise three-way with two girls. Surprise three-way with two guys. Horny housewife accepts a special delivery. I take him home and surprise him with a strap-on. He has a little cock so I’m going to have sex with a “real man” in front of him (usually we’re married). I know he’s secretly gay and will “make him” suck cock. “Mommy” catches him masturbating and shows him how to please her (maybe involving dressing him up in mommy’s pretty things). I know he’s secretly a sissy panty boy. Etc. “Daddy/daughter” stuff is also very common, though there’s a range of different ways that fantasy may go… who starts it, is daughter a slut or a virgin, etc.
Can you give us a short etiquette guide for calling a phone sex provider?
Don’t make the phone fantasy provider play psychic—if you really want to talk about pink lace crotchless panties, say that. Don’t get all whiny because your little guessing game isn’t going right.
Don’t try to impress her by explaining that you know she’s “lying.” Congratulations—you know there is a difference between fantasy and reality! But I’ve had guys insist that I must be “lying” about things that were actually true. If you’re going to get hung up on what’s real and what’s fake, professional phone sex is not a good place for you to hang out.
No, the person you call is not your friend.
If the fantasy provider says she can’t or won’t talk about something, don’t press it.
Don’t make loud, fake pussy-eating sound effects into the phone unless prompted. Really. I have never talked to a phone sex worker who enjoyed this.
Don’t insist your fantasy provider scream. I don’t need my neighbors knocking on my door while I’m working.
Don’t apologize for talking dirty and “doing this to [me].” I’m really okay with it! If you think phone sex is that bad, and yet you still feel the need to have it, get therapy.
How do you fake a convincing orgasm - any hints/tricks?
Don’t go over-the-top with screaming or “Oh yes! Oh yes!” Do more with kinda whiny moaning, and then go silent except for gasping when you “come”—slays ‘em. I think subtle staccato breathing right near the end is key.
Do you always work as the same character, or do you have a stable of characters you offer? Who’s your favorite character to play?
I have a really bitchy, full-of-myself dominatrix persona that’s fun with guys who really like to hear about how awesome I am and how they’d just instantly drop to their knees and beg to lick my boots if they saw me at the mall, while I bemoan how frustrating it is to be this brilliant and gorgeous in a world of morons.
I also like playing a sexually-precocious, barely-legal high-schooler. It’s kind of the opposite voice and demeanor than my dom character—cool, smoky scorn vs giggly enthusiasm. I like the variety and contrast.
Do you use sound effects (a high heel tapping a hard floor, the buzz of a battery-operated vibrator, etc.)? What are some sound effects you use frequently?
I used to have this tiny electric mixer that I’d use to make vibrator noises.
I also use shoe-tapping, hand-clapping (or slapping my thigh), zipping a zipper up or down, and putting lotion on my hands and squeezing them together.
For most sound effects (“Put the phone by your pussy!”) I just smack my lips in various ways, which is surprisingly effective.
Have you ever suspected you were talking to anyone famous?
Yes. One time I had a caller named Bill who spoke a lot like Bill Clinton.
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For more hot, smart talk from my favorite phone pree-vert, check out Constintina’s blog: http://telephonetalk.blogspot.com/.
Be sure to tell her “Bill” sent you.
Hi;
I am thinking of emtering this line of work. I have always wanted to do this and have been told I would be great at it. How should I start?
Jackie