Kristin Casey: The Art of the Striptease
I met Kristin Casey for the first time in 2008 in an Austin, Texas bookstore.
She and a friend had taken the evening off from the gentleman’s club where they both worked in order to come hear me read from my second book, “Sex & Bacon: Why I Love Things That Are Very, Very Bad For Me.” A slender, elegant redhead, Kristin’s stunning physical confidence intimidated me. Kristin was clearly that rarity of the adult industry, a genuine dancer—someone who creates art through sensual movement in a venue that, more often than not, favors crass exhibitionism over real skill.
After my reading, 41-year old Kristin and I talked about her work, both onstage and off-. A writer working on several long-term projects, her intellect and genuine warmth were just as appealing as her long, lean dancer’s build. Since our original meeting in Austin, we’ve stayed in touch, and I look forward with great anticipation to reading anything she publishes! Interviewing Kristin Casey about the art of the striptease for www.xtoysusa.com taught me more about delivering a smokin’ hot lap-dance than all the years I spent on Bourbon Street.
Can you give some advice to those of us who want to perform a sexy routine or lap-dance for our partners?
I think it’s vital to find music that really makes you feel sexy. Even after almost 13 years as a dancer, the right music can take my best moves up a notch while boring music can lull me into just “going through the motions.”
Once you find the right music there are some basic moves (like the cat crawl, body-slide, straddle/grind to name a few) that every dancer incorporates, builds on and adds her own individual style to. Once you get over the initial awkwardness of moving your body in new, weird ways, you’ll start to find your own expression coming out—which is such a beautiful and empowering feeling!
I believe in the awesome, ancient, seductive power of the dance (going back to Salome), so much so that I’ve always wanted to give lap dance lessons. Many professional dancers could probably be talked into giving a private lesson or two—it’s worth asking if you find a dancer whose style you particularly admire. And if you’re in Austin, look me up—I’ll do it for a very reasonable fee.
What’s the number-one piece of advice you’d give to someone who’s never stripped before?
Always remember the sexiest thing about stripping is the woman’s willingness to reveal her body to her partner. Attitude is more important than having a “perfect” body or professional-caliber moves. When you peel off your clothes with a playful, confident attitude, trust me, you own the room. Rock it.
What do you do when you’re feeling less than gorgeous (any pro tips to boost the confidence)?
I fake it. Pure and simple.
My ace in the hole is the way I carry myself. I’m confident and in touch with my sexuality and men have always told me when I walk into room, it shows. It’s a trait every woman can learn to incorporate and project just as I did. When men sense that kind of heat in a woman they instantly think she’s the most attractive woman in the room. Attitude trumps physical beauty every time. And when you’re just not feeling it, you can fake it until you do.
Do you have any advice about costuming, music, surefire moves, or anything else that makes the difference between an amateur routine and a totally amazing one?
Never underestimate the power of slow, sultry movements. Moving too fast and being too rough are the biggest mistakes new dancers make lap-dancing, and the customers’ biggest complaint. I have to wonder what those girls are thinking. Perhaps they’re afraid the customer will get bored without a constant barrage of fresh stimulation, but if anything men need help focusing. Slow movements do that, while rapid movements are distracting and stressful.
To distract men from all other thoughts competing for their attention (responsibilities, work, family, bills) you only need offer one point of reference—you—and let them luxuriate in the ways you affect their senses. Your scent, the feel of your hair cascading across his face or shoulders, your warm breath on his neck, the texture of your silky soft skin, the pressure of your breasts against his chest, your fingers in his hair, and the power of your deep and lingering eye contact are more than enough to fill a man’s senses.
Customers come to strip clubs to be seduced, cajoled, enticed, teased, immersed in fantasy, and surrounded by female sexual energy in a state of arousal. A lap dance shouldn’t be three and a half minutes of just simulating sex.
What’s your favorite song to dance to?
Some songs no one ever expects to hear but are so fun to do on stage are: “She’s a Lady” (Tom Jones), “Soolaimon” (Neil Diamond), “Stuck in the Middle with You” (Stealers Wheel), “I Hear You Knockin” (Dave Edmunds), “God’s Child” (David Byrne), and “Let Me Roll It” (Paul McCartney).
What’s your signature move?
I touch myself a lot on stage-everywhere, not just my breasts or thong—but everywhere. I’ll trace my fingers along one arm, from wrist to shoulder, then across my breasts slowly, lightly pinching my nipples along the way. Or I’ll reach up to run my fingers through my hair and then down my neck, chest and torso.
I think customers like to watch a woman touch her own skin. I know I love to watch a woman touch herself, languidly and un-self-consciously, so I figure customers do too!
How is a private dance different than a stage-dance?
Onstage, I’m inviting the audience to witness a sensual performance—to let it inspire them, entice them, incite their desire, or spark a fantasy. I make eye contact with audience members sometimes (especially when they approach to tip me), but just as often I’m in my own world up there.
Whereas during a lap dance I’m inviting the customer to share in a celebration of sexuality, which is something deeper: a collaboration between two people, and much more intimate and emotional. Personal attention is what people crave, so for a lap dance I stay in the moment, not letting my mind wander like it can onstage. I create an exchange of erotic energy with the customer, as opposed to projecting my energy out to the whole room like I do when I’m lost in a stage-set.
What are some seductive ways to maximize the sensuality of the dance without being sleazy?
Men crave touch, but that doesn’t have to equate to a hand-job.
The very first move I do is to stand between a man’s legs with my knees or calves braced against the inside of his thighs, so our bodies are touching (albeit through his pants) from the very beginning. Then, after slowly stripping off my outfit, I brace my hands against his shoulders and swoop forward, brushing my breasts very softly on either side of his face (around the nose and mouth area). This way he gets that satisfying skin-on-skin sensation without being allowed to take control or use his hands.
Then I collapse very slowly onto his chest, while at the same time dipping my head into the crook of his neck, allowing my hair to touch and tickle his face. I exhale very slowly on his neck or in his ear while still lowering my weight onto him (depending on his size I may still lean a tiny bit on the back of the chair so not to crush a really skinny guy). Eventually we’re chest to chest and crotch to crotch. In these early moves, which take about 30 seconds or less, I satisfy their immense craving for touch, for connection, for intimacy. I’ve also established control over the situation – showing him I’m on top, I know what I’m doing, just follow my lead, you know?
Other lap-dance moves can be open to interpretation, so I have to know when to be on guard. When I have my breasts in a customer’s face, I’m careful to look down in case he’s about to clamp on like a starving infant—they do that a lot—and if so, I pull away very quickly and laugh it off while saying, “No no, that’s not allowed.” They usually will laugh along with me and if they seem embarrassed I just smile and say, “That’s okay, I never blame a man for trying—once!” It’s important to keep it light, not shame them, because usually they really don’t know where your boundaries are until you show them. Every dancer is a little different.
Do you talk to the customer while you’re dancing for him, or do you prefer to move in silence?
I definitely prefer to dance without talking and find it really annoying to have to answer questions or carry on a conversation when focused on giving a skilled, erotic, intensely intimate performance. Would you try to talk to a singer or an actor during their performance?
You’re an amazingly talented writer. Tell me about your writing. What projects are you currently working on?
The book I’m polishing right now is a memoir detailing my years as a teenage, punk-rock meth addict, My screenplay is based on the same story (think “Boogie Nights” meets “Sid and Nancy”).
My other big project is a non-fiction book, a how-to manual for strippers with a lot of fun information for non-stripper readers too. And I have another book in mind about the parallels between stripping, love and yoga. After that I’ll focus on screenwriting, particularly stories about addiction and the adult industry.
My blog has also been an amazingly gratifying experience. I started it in Dec. 2006 after a psychic told me if I didn’t open up and let people get to know the “real me” I could very likely be single forever. At the time I’d been single (and hating it) for about 12 years so I took his advice to heart, yet had a very hard time putting it into action. Then one day I realized that talking openly was not my strong suit, but writing was. So I decided to write myself open.
Next thing you know, I’d posted all these crazy stories from my past—sex, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll, addiction, alcoholism, my eating disorder, sex life, lack of sex life, stress, fears, loneliness, insecurities, anger, rage, hopes and dreams. It was incredibly cathartic and also helped me become a better writer.
What do you wish more people knew about dancers?
Dancers are sometimes perceived as exploited, downtrodden, slutty and servile. The truth is that the highest expression of exotic dancing is to be empowered, successful, sensual and of service. We don’t perpetuate negative gender stereotypes as much as engage in healthy exchanges of primal gender roles.
At her best an exotic dancer is an artist, confidant, therapist, and businesswoman. Dancing is an art and skill deserving of respect, like any other career in the entertainment field. We provide validation through fantasy and arousal in a world where simple pleasures like those can be very hard to find.
*****
For more about Kristin (or to send her fan mail!), check out the following links:
www.MyDancerDiary.com
www.MySpace.com/SuccessfulStrippers
www.MySpace.com/mmmeow
Kristin is a very talented writer as well. I love her blog!
Avalon